Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
