I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
