The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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