haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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