i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
