dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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