We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
