i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
