He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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