Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
