watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
