DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
