and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
