Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
