Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
And then he peed in my hair
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
