Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
false alarm. still invincible.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
