Nicole vs. Life
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
