My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
