Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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