some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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