I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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