I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
