she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
