How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Panties = found
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
