I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
