It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
