What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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