Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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