she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
