do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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