You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
