I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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