you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
