I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
