happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
