Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he had hair everywhere except his balls
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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