Can i not drive my cunt home
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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