You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
