I hope mine doesn't look like that
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
