ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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