I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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