oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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