oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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