just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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