I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
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