She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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