Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
