Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
