...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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