There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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