I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My feet surprised me
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
