Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
