At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
